Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
