I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
