Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
