no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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