me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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