i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
