laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
