Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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