those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
