Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
