I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
