Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
