Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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