Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
