nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
