just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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