I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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