Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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