Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
