whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
