I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
