Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
