if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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