Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
