can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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