So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
