Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
