yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
