I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
