woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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