i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
