There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
