Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
