Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
