I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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