Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
