I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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