phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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