home. puking in laundry basket.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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