That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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