i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
