i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
