I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
