I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
