i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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