Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
