But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
