I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just want nice things and good sex
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
