y did u give ur computer a hand job?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
