you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
