An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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