Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I want her autograph on my taint
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
