i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
