google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
